But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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