That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Randomize
