East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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