You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
