Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize