Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
