Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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