come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
