No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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