PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
