I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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