apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
