My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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