I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His hands were made for my vagina.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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