HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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