I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
