Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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