why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
