that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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