So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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