actually, I'm a sock model
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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