D3 body, D1 cock
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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