It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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