I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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