fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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