plz talk dirty to me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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