Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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