i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
