So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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