Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
