never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize