i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
