Ketchup is God's man juice
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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