yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
