i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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