The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
