I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
