How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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