In America we eat man semen.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
