No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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