Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
