Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just cropdusted the office
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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