I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
