either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
