I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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