Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
