Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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