She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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