Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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