you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
