I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
