You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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