Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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