the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
