Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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