ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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