WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize