I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
