I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
