If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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