So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
