Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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