im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
